I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
