I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
