I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
