Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
