dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
