at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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