DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
