My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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