You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
