Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
