ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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