Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
my shit smells like andre
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
