It's Friday. Sex?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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