there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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