yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
