someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
