it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
