But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Ketchup is God's man juice
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
