Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
