ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
