i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
