Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
