The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
