I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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