Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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