My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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