just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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