I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
