I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
