Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
