Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
