My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
