I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Even my vagina gasped.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
