Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
