my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
