He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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