Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
