What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
