Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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