So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I have already put on my inside pants.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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