I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
