so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
