I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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