and she was petting her beer can
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
