I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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