In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
