Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
