I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
