I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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