I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
my mouth tastes like poor choices
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
