I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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