Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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