This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
