You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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