Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
