The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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